Are You a Nice Guy?Was Leo Durocher Right?

Ken's Blog

Back in 2004, I wrote "Why People Fail," a free in-house resource for some SBI! owners who get in their own way on the road to building successful businesses.

One of the "personality" types that I missed adding to the book is the person who "underperforms" to his potential, essentially "failing" by his own measurements.

He wants more. He knows that he is capable of earning more, much more. He wants to capitalize upon his expertise. But at every turn, he is held back by one major trait...

He's a nice guy.

And as legendary baseball manager Leo Durocher (1905-1991) said...

"Nice guys finish last."

(I will use the term "nice guy" here without implying male or female, but to hold to Leo's original quote.)

Last doesn't have to be a predetermined, permanent position...

Nice guys who are "shark-smart" finish first, in business and in life!

Now that you know how to avoid the "mooch marketers" (those who sell GRQ dreams), it's time to sensitize yourself to the shark reality of the business world. Some examples...

• Sharks want to be your "partners" and offer you uneven deals (example, unfair advertising deals).
• They don't pay you for leads you generate, but keep dragging you out, promising payment for months and months.
• Shark-employees take as much as they can and give back as little as possible.

Sharks are able to take advantage of nice guys all the time. Ruthlessly.

Why? Because nice guys like to be liked.

That's a common reaction. I do. Don't you, too?

Here's the key lesson, though. You can remain a nice guy and still be a very effective business person. But you DO have to learn to...

1) Pay attention to your "niggling voice." If alarm bells are going off, you probably are dealing with a "shark." If you have an uneasy feeling, there is likely good reason. Run.

But you may not have a well-tuned "niggle-detector." In that case...

2) Pay attention to your spouse or partner or mentor. In my case, my wife has kept me away from many serious mistakes. Her radar is more finely tuned than mine. I give too many people the benefit of the doubt too easily. I've become better at this, but it takes time.

3) Analyze a deal on its cold merits (and not pie-in-the-sky promises or "maybes"). If the deal is simply not a WIN-WIN, if it's a WIN-LOSE, you must develop the ability to negotiate a WIN-WIN deal, failing which you say "NO" and move on.

Ignore any howls, or manipulation through guilt and other tricks.

You have to be comfortable with yourself, be sure that what you want is fair on all sides, and resist all tactics to convince you otherwise.

To be shark-smart, you must...

Be firm and trust your instincts (heart) and judgment (brain). Get over what is merely a "perceived weakness" (your "niceness") to sharks. Be comfortable with yourself and speak your mind.

Will people like you less after you say "no"? Probably. But you will like yourself better for saying "no."

Leo Durocher didn't really mean that "nice people are losers." Nice people are great, wonderful to be around. And they do indeed finish first...

IF they learn to be business savvy and either avoid the sharks... or deal with them with clarity, consistency, and firmness, without worrying about the reaction.

All the best,